Anxious Utopia

by My Gold Mask

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04:04

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Order limited white vinyl at: moonsoundsrecords.bandcamp.com

credits

released March 4, 2016

‘ANXIOUS UTOPIA’
All songs written by Armondo, Rochelle
Except ‘Insomnia’ written by Armondo, Rochelle and Andrew

Produced by Sanford Parker and Balthazar de Ley
Except ‘Battles’ and ‘Dangerous’ produced by Balthazar de Ley

Recorded at: The Audio Bordello, Humboldt Amp, Hypercube Recording, Minbal Studios, Rat City Sound and Strobe Recording
Mixed at The Audio Bordello and Hypercube Recording
Mastered by Collin Jordan at The Boiler Room

Design, AU logo and layout: Daniel Tovar
Cover photo: Jason Creps
Creative direction: Jack Armondo

All songs: In A Flash, Panty Drawer ASCAP
©℗ My Gold Mask, 2016

All rights reserved - unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws

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Track Name: Forgive Again
i’ve been told that i can’t feel an emotion
i can hide it underneath like an ocean
i can lie in the face of your devotion
i just hide it underneath this commotion

with the door wide open
did you see me falling
were my knees all dirty
and broken

can you forgive
forgive it all
forgive it all again
can you forgive
forgive at all
yet

i’ve been told that i can’t feel an emotion
i can hide it underneath like an ocean
i can lie right through the teeth of devotion
i can’t fight what I believe is in motion

with my eyes wide open
and my fingers closing
with my knees all dirty
and broken

can you forgive
forgive it all
I know you can’t forget
can you forgive
forgive at all
yet

with the door wide open
did you see me falling
with my knees all dirty
and broken

can you forgive
forgive it all
forgive it all again
can you forgive
forgive at all
yet
can you forgive
forgive it all
I know you can’t forget
can you forgive
forgive at all
yet

(holding my head up
can’t make my mind up
tell me the story
say something
say some)

i can hide it underneath all the ocean
i can hide it underneath my devotion
Track Name: Battles
say the word

I won’t fall to pieces

like the world

slipping in the creases

you and I could die

a thousand times

before the war is hung
out 
for its crimes, I…

break my hands

losing battles

giving up

the devil I know

take a chance

choosing battles

wake up

make mistakes

falling backwards into

no embrace

pressing forward, is it

over now or over complicated?

over now and grave

break my hands

losing battles

giving up

the devil I know

take a chance

choosing battles

waking up

the devil I don't

destiny calls

the rest of me is falling

desperately, you're stalling

you're stalling, stalling

the devil I don't
Track Name: Connect
at times i wish that i could disappear
in these walls, they're getting nearer
fearless words hiding under the tongue
travel further in the songs sung

little teeth will bite right open
all the wounds i keep on sewing up
check your mirror, check your phone
let's go,
I know
how to show we're not the same child

stand right here and
if they keep staring
who's caring
I don't fear what's
keeping them guessing
and stressing
I know we wanted
to connect
confess darling
I know we want it
we want it
we want it yeah

tiny whispers in the ear they go
seeping poison in the shadows
scribble patterns into eyes so blind
all the crooked roads we unwind

skinny needles keep us woven
if you feel you're all alone tonight
peel the shadows off my lips that shy
and try
to remind them how to shine (just)

stand right here and
if they keep staring
who's caring
I don't fear what's
keeping them guessing
and stressing
I know we wanted
to connect
confess
darling
I know we want it
we want it
we want it yeah
Track Name: Dangerous
so anxious to see you

I drop everything

you feed on my weakness

but I don't complain

push bodies like blankets
on top of my sin

a dance with a devil

delicately thin

dangerous, dangerous

danger always will find me

dangerous, the two of us

when your arms are around me

I pull you inside me

then push you away

I pull you inside
just to
feel this decay

you call me in darkness

I scratch at your door

I've tasted the sickness

but I want some more

dangerous, dangerous

danger always surrounds me
dangerous, the two of us

when your arms are around me

oh oh oh oh

I've been running around you

oh oh oh oh

I'll be running away 
(in danger, in danger)

so anxious to see you

I drop everything
you
feed on my weakness

but I don't complain

I lick up the poison 

from inside your tongue

and hide you forever

as I come undone
Track Name: Insomnia
this is insomnia
but i won't miss a beat
behind the lock-ed doors
are you still fast asleep

and when the world slows down
kinda feel like i drown
my dog curled at my feet
but i won't miss a beat

oh oh oh oh oh oh

this is insomnia
some kind of phobia
another endless night
never a lullaby

and even when i share
my bed, i sit and stare
my screen let's me escape
to where we're all awake

oh oh oh oh oh oh

this is insomnia
and i won't miss a beat
the night goes on and on
i read what you delete

they fall off one by one
until i'm left alone
they fall off one by one
until i'm left alone-oh

fuck it, your shuteye
we don't need no lullaby - no

this is insomnia
anxious utopia
why not go out and play
then we could sleep all day
Track Name: Dissipate
just let it go and dissipate

we're fading this love, this love

a small abuse to illustrate

we're faking this love

another death to celebrate

we're faking this love, this love

no heaven to anticipate

no faith in this love

toss my heart and hope to hide it

take these needles off my eyelids

let it go, let it fade

another view to subjugate

we're fading this love, this love

we're way too cool to suffocate

we're faking this love

too occupied to demonstrate

we're faking this love, this love

we gave enough for goodness sake

no faith in this love, this love

toss my heart and hope to hide it

take these needles off my eyelids

let it go, let it fade away

toss my heart and hope to hide it

take these needles off my eyelids

you don't know what I saw today

let it fade away, let it fade away
toss my heart and hide it
Track Name: Explode
you got me all wrong

this demon inside

has always been. it's never been
...
something I hide

I can't be saved, 
I can't be saved

when it's coming on strong

I can't be saved, 
I won't behave

so I just let it explode
(I will)

let it out of control
(I will)

with my body and soul
(I will)

I'll just let it explode

I fought it too long

I'm cutting these strings

marionette, 
my wicked twin

I'm setting you free

I can't be saved, 
I can't be saved

when it's coming on strong

I can't be saved
, I won't behave

so I just let it explode
(I will)

Let it out of control
(I will)

With my body and soul
(I will)

I'll just let it explode

fight the fight
with the windows cold

and all the ashes have blown

with the mirrors broke

its just an image that's gone

so I just let it explode 
(I will)

Let it out of control 
(I will)

With my body and soul
 (I will)

I'll just let it explode

I can't be saved
I can't be saved
Track Name: Gone Gone Gone
gone gone gone
gone from my bones
break through the glass
with your gun on my pulse

Gone gone gone
gone from my lungs
breathe in the water
you slip from my tongue

ay-ay

gone gone gone
gone from my bones
take every last bit of your poison soul
held my breath
till you fell low
find someone else
who can keep you afloat

drowning in a life so shallow
eating words you could not swallow
gave away your last tomorrow
no one there left to follow

ay-ay

gone gone gone
gone from my skull
sweep up the pieces
you let come undone

out of your reach
i can breathe easy
letting you go
i can breathe easy
letting you go
i can breathe easy
letting you know
i can breathe

gone gone gone
gone from my bones
Track Name: Cautionary Lives
if we fall hard
so what
we'll show our scars
so bold

spill a drink
on the floor
getting high
do some more
what a day
such a bore
couldn't stay
anymore
fuck i'm high
like before
use it up
such a bore

throw hands up this time
hide mountains we climb

we can breathe a temporary sigh
living free in cautionary lives
we don't see with ordinary eyes
you and me lead cautionary lives

but we might fall
so what
we'll sow what's ours
so what

spill a drink
on the floor
getting high
do some more
what a day
such a bore
couldn't stay
anymore
fuck i'm high
like before
use it up
such a bore

just once in awhile
we kill with a smile

we can breathe a temporary sigh
living free in cautionary lives
we don't see with ordinary eyes
you and me lead cautionary lives

we can breathe
Track Name: Lipstick Bruises
pick up the pace
try to erase
all the fears that choose us
playing for keeps
i like to leave
you with lipstick bruises

damn you
fought this back forever
but at this moment
feel much better now

push me away
cause i want some more
push me away

i hit the floor
begging for more
oh but you won't give me
brush off the leaves
from both my knees
but I like them hurting

damn you
why won't this
last forever
the pain that I wanted
feels like pleasure now

push me away
cause i want some more
push me away
cause i want some more
push me away
cause i want some more

damn you I want it
damn you want it
Track Name: In Diamond White
hold my hand
i'm waiting for you
take these words
for nothing but truth
pain is on the inside
you see right through
delve into the divide
I'm praying for you

to leave this world
behind and light it
in diamond white
I embrace you
just take this girl invited
in diamond white
I fade in you

light like thunder
(open the shutters)
there's no other
(that I've discovered)
just take my hand
and fall through
in diamond white
I fade in you

pulse by pulse
with nothing around
drown these tears
in radiant sound
pain is on the inside
you feel it too
luminous and untied
i’m begging for you

to leave this world
behind and light it
in diamond white
I embrace you
just take this girl invited
in diamond white
I fade in you

light like thunder
(open the shutters)
there's no other
(that I've discovered)
just take my hand
and fall through
in diamond white
I fade in you
Track Name: Severed
this is my heart

will you remember it's sound
I'll do my part

to keep you here in these arms

these severed parts

they can never be found

when we're apart

will you remember this sound

it's grey here

it's cold here
I do fear

we're done

don't leave me
in pieces

your cold shadows fall

these severed parts

we bury deep in the ground
this bleeding heart

you will remember it's sound

oh oh tell me you'll stay

it's grey here